Are you being served?

Who have you been serving throughout your life?

I’ve been in service to family, community groups, customers, colleagues, participants of learning programs and so many others for most of my life.

When I was little, my mum modelled the way; lamington drives, bottle drives, sewing for the local church, teaching others to sew, preparing home cooked meals for sick friends, hosting parties, driving me to activities so that I may grow and flourish — learn to swim, play tennis, guitar, sing and so on.

Watching mum’s ‘in service’ behaviours and being involved with many of these ‘good deeds’ over many years, strengthened my reticular activating system to such an extent that I could spot a need in a Nano-second and just two seconds later be offering my service to that person who looked stuck or confused or, well, needy!

I found it easy. I enjoyed it. It became the way I operated. All the time.

This can be seen through the types of working roles I took on. Secretarial. Customer Service. Motherhood. Training. Facilitating. Coaching. Leading retreats for women. Community group leadership. Committees. And a Board.

I studied so that I could serve others better.

I welcomed feedback so that I could improve and serve others better.

I listened. I changed what I could. I developed some more. I kept right on being in service because, well, they needed me, didn’t they?

Not all of my service has served me well, though.

Sometimes, I’ve unwittingly extended myself into environments that have been misaligned to my values. Sometimes the work was not what I truly enjoyed. Sometimes I worked with or for others who displayed a lack of integrity. Resulting in tension, ‘hard’ work, self-doubt.

I’ve come to see that at different times, I’ve compromised myself with the false belief that it was my role to be in service, no matter what.

It was I who deferred to others who seemed to know better or sound more confident. It was I who was silent or passive, resting in the shadows of others’ glow who, surely, I was doing well to support? It was their idea, after all? They were more gifted than I? They were the centre-point and so who was I to claim the space? Who was I to shine?

What I now know and hold to is that it’s absolutely appropriate for me to start serving myself first. It is more than appropriate for me to own my own space. The centre-point of my being must be honoured if I am to live in a way that does not compromise who I am.

It’s taken most of my life to realise that, who I am is simply, love and joy.

Now that I have remembered this, I am simply serving me.

Who’ve you been serving all your life?

And, is it still working for you and others? If not…

How would it be for you to serve your centre-point and experience your bliss every day for the rest of your life?